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Start by asking this: “Are you ok?”
This is the message from a survivor. She talks about the signs of her abuse and what to do if you see them:
“I was asked questions like; ‘What have you done to your face?’ – ‘Oh I bumped it.’
A new phone because ‘I’m clumsy.’
A spray tan covering bruises.
‘The dog did it.’
The shouting wasn’t at me, it was at the TV.’
“Answers like these come easily. And deep down, people may feel concerned, but they don’t want to pry.
“One thing I’ve taken away is this: if I get that feeling, I will ask. Gently, privately, in a safe space. ‘Are you ok?’
“Christmas is an especially hard time. People are at their most vulnerable. Some dread it because the abuser may drink more, there’s more time together, more isolation.
“If we see something, or feel something, let’s ask.
“Myself included.”
If you or someone you know needs support over Christmas:
📞 National Domestic Abuse Helpline (24/7): 0808 2000 247
🌐 https://refuge.org.uk/
🚨 If you are in immediate danger, call 999. You can use the Silent Solution if you can’t speak.
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